Drawn In
by psycho pixie
Summary: One-shot, KM. Very sad. What does Miroku love more: Kagome, or his hatred of Naraku? How far is he willing to go to win, and what price will he have to pay? RR


AN: AU ending to the show, K/M.  Pretty depressing.  I feel like I could have done better, but oh well.  I'm not in the best of minds right now.  Hope you all enjoy.

*

The fight rages on around me, but I can't feel it.  I know I'm fighting him, I know we're all fighting him.  It's all we do anymore—and all for that damned jewel.  I never cared about the jewel itself—I cared only about having a son to carry out my mission, and defeating Naraku.

Until her.  Until Kagome.  I was never a faithful man, until I met her.  She made me . . . happy.  She made me forget that I lived on a clock and she made me want to be a better person.  I tried—when she told me she loved me, I wished I could live forever, because maybe only then would I be worthy of her.

I didn't have forever.

I clench my fist around my staff as I swing it, but I don't need to hold it very hard.  Even through the rosary, my wind tunnel is sucking things closer to me.  Even if I released my staff, it wouldn't fall.  Naraku senses my dilemma—he's the one who cursed me with it, after all.   I can hear him chuckle in my mind, and I grind my teeth.

_How much longer do you have, monk?  Days?  Weeks?. . . Hours? Will you even survive the battle?_

Probably not, but I can't tell him that.  He is in the gravest danger if my wind tunnel rips—if I should die today, I will take him and that damned jewel with me.

My hand is beginning to hurt, and it's not from my iron hold on my weapon.  The rosary and glove are beginning to go concave into my palm, and a jolt of horror rips through me.

_It's split_.

I drop the staff and clench my hand into a fist, the battle around me going silent to my ears.  _Kagome.  She's too close.  She'll be pulled in for sure . . ._

_You could die together,_ a part of my mind whispers.  _Then she would never leave you . . . _

The horrible part is that Naraku isn't the one tempting me like this.

Sango charges Naraku head-first, which means that Inuyasha is free for just a moment.  I grab his haori and bring his face very close to mine, for fear that Kagome overhears.  "Inuyasha.  You _have_ to take the others away from here.  I'll finish the battle."

"Shut up, you stupid monk," he scoffs, gold eyes annoyed.  "What would you do, suck him in along with the rest of his insects?  You'd be dead before we could even get to you."

"I'll be dead one way or another," I tell him softly, "whether it's by the insects or not.  You have to get them as far from me as possible, Inuyasha.  I'm going to die one way or another, and I _will take Naraku with me.  But I _don't_ want to take the rest of you, all right?"_

"Stop overreacting," he growls, but I can hear the hesitation in his voice.  He's wondering if I'm actually telling the truth.

I hold up my hand, careful that my glove is firmly in place.  Already it's cutting into what's left of my palm.  His fingers touch the center hesitantly, and I know he feels the air slipping by his fingers into the wind tunnel.  He feels the depression carefully, trying to get a sense of how large the hole is.  It reaches down to my wrist already—my palm has been completely encompassed.  It pulses beneath his fingers, and his hand jerks back.

"You're not kidding," he says slowly, voice muted in shock.  "I—I thought he would be dead before that could happen . . ."

I shake my head grimly.  "Take them all as far from here as you can.  I don't want you to die with me, Inuyasha.  You can still win this fight, with my help."

"_We_ can still win," he corrects.  "How long do you have?"

I swallow hard, trying to mask my fear as I gauge my time.  "Minutes, if that.  When I remove the glove . . . it will all be over."

"And the insects?"

"Can do me no harm if I'm dead."

Inuyasha's face is pale.  "It's going to kill her, you know."

I grind my teeth.  Thinking of Kagome is making my heart hurt, and I'm wishing desperately that there was time for anything else.  But it's not enough time to kill him.  I'll be dead before the feat is accomplished, and I'll take everyone around me down with me.  They have no choice but to leave.

"I know," I almost whisper.  "Inuyasha . . ."

He looks at me expectantly.

"I don't want her to see," I say finally.  "She can't see me fall to him.  She can't see that he's finally defeated me."

"This is why I didn't want you to be with her," he growls.  "I knew you'd break her heart, one way or another."

"Right now," I tell him thickly, "mine is breaking as well.  There were so many things I should have done . . . so many amends I should have made.  I should have told her . . . every single day," I murmur to myself.  "I didn't tell her enough that I was in love with her."

"I'll take her away," he replies crisply, any flicker of emotion hidden away.  I like to think he'll miss me if I die. 

_When_ I die.

"I never thought I'd say this to you," he adds over his shoulder as he turns away, "but you're a good man."  He says nothing else as he goes to retrieve Tetsusaiga from where it lays.

Kagome has been watching our exchange while making quick work of Naraku's poisonous insects with her purified arrows, and now she rushes over to me, looking at Sango fearfully.  "She'll die if she keeps that up," Kagome frets, on the verge of tears.

"She won't," I assure her softly, taking her into my arms as well as I can.  I clench my right hand into a fist behind my back, careful to keep it away from her.  "The fight is almost over."

"He's so strong . . ." she fears aloud.  "How can we win?"

"A little bit of cheating," I tell her.  "I want you to listen to me now, Kagome.  Inuyasha is going to take you and Sango a safe distance from here while I finish him off with my wind tunnel.  I don't want you to be pulled in if you're too close." I can't bring myself to tell her that I will pull myself in with him.

She glares up at me.  "I can't keep treating you for taking in those insects," she snaps.  "If you take in too many more, there won't be anything I can do for you." Her arms, which are wrapped around my waist, tighten instinctively. 

_I'll never hold her again_, I realize as my heart rips into pieces.

"You won't have to treat me," I finally tell her.  "When I tell you to run, I want you to get away from here."

Her endless eyes turn up to me, widening.  "What are you—"

I see Inuyasha approaching from behind, preparing to take Kagome.  Once he has her, I'll distract Naraku from Sango, and he'll take her, Shippou, and Kirara out of here.

I look down at her, finally falling into the pools of her eyes.  I can't die knowing that I didn't truly look at her one more time, and I kiss her gently.

Almost afraid, she leans into me, twining her arms around my neck despite our rather inconvenient location.  I want to cry; I'll never kiss her again.  I'll never wake up in the morning and feel her snuggled into my arms.  I have only made love to her once, when I knew for certain that she was ready, and I will never do it again.  It was only days ago.  And now I'm being ripped away from her, just as I am realizing that I can't live without her.

I pull away, my eyes closed and tears collecting behind my eyelids.  A pulse in my hand, and I feel a pulling at the edges of the wind tunnel.  I step back from her when I feel it beginning to draw in the glove and rosary.

In a movement, I have ripped off the glove and beads, keeping my fist closed so that the air rip doesn't open completely.  I shove the glove into her hands and press a fierce kiss on her mouth, then I back away as Inuyasha picks her up.  She's beginning to panic, demanding answers from me.

"I should have told you every morning and every evening of every day that I loved you," I tell her grimly.

Kagome practically rips herself out of Inuyasha's grasp.  "Miroku!  You—you _can't, _I know there's another way!  Don't do anything_ stupid_!"

I smile weakly.  "That is my only regret," I tell her, my mouth refusing to cooperate.  "I didn't tell you that I loved you enough."

Her hands fly to her mouth, and she freezes dead in her tracks.  Her eyes, wide already, flood with tears.  She's beginning to understand.

I press my left hand over the wind tunnel, but it almost doesn't cover it.  Kagome's face is written with horror, and I think she's in shock.  She hasn't said anything.  I lock gazes with Inuyasha and nod.  He grabs her unceremoniously and begins to drag her away.  I turn from her and stride up to Naraku and Sango, trying to block out her voice and her cries.  

My name.  She keeps crying it over and over again.  

"Sango," I say softly.  "You need to stop."

Naraku knocks her to the ground easily, using Hiraikotsu as a bat to slam her with.  She crashes to the ground, looking up at me in surprise.  "Miroku?" she says in confusion.  She sees the glove missing from my balled fist, and her face loses all color.

"Run," I tell her simply.

"Yes, little Sango, run for your life," Naraku chuckles, but his crimson eyes are fixed on me, not Sango.  "Do you really think that your wind tunnel can draw me in without drawing you in as well?" he asks me.  "You don't actually hope to return to your lover alive, do you?"

I grit my teeth.  "Shut up." 

He shrugs.  "Very well; you can draw in my insects as well.  It's your own death warrant, you know.  I don't think you'll do it."  His voice is a sneer.

"Let us call it a man to man battle," I tell him, hoping he doesn't he see Sango scramble away, following Inuyasha's gestures.  I extend my left hand for a handshake.

He actually laughs at me.  "You're a fool.  You'll die for it, you know.  I find it most amusing that you're willing to even _touch_ me."

"Is it a fair battle or not?" I grit out.

"Very well," he laughs, grasping my hand in a mocking handshake.

He's signed his own death warrant.  

I twist my grip on his hand and place my right palm over his hands.  His eyes go wide—he realizes his folly only too late.

The wind tunnel roars to life, no longer confined by my fist, and the ground begins to shake.  Hurricane winds roar around me—it's far more powerful than I've ever seen it.

There is a flash of pain, and I feel it spread.

Then . . . _searing _pain.  I have to turn away when I see it begin to spread out and consume . . . 

Naraku is resisting.  He is using Kagura's wind to try and beat mine back, push himself away from me, but it's no use.  His curse upon my family is finally taking its revenge upon him.

I am beginning to re-think this whole 'sacrifice yourself to destroy Naraku' plan when I realize just how painful it is.  I brace my arms, my good hand wrapping around the other wrist to support it, but it fades right out from under my grasp.

Naraku's roar of rage as he loses ground is drowned out by the howling winds.

I begin to lose consciousness as the wind tunnel devours me from the inside out.  I can see only Kagome's eyes ad mine slide closed.

_I love you_.

**Kagome**

I don't know how much time has passed.  I felt the earth lurch, and then the wind began to blow from all directions to where we left Miroku. He was convinced that he would never see me again, but how could he do that?  He knows that I love him more than I could have ever imagined when I first saw him—how could he leave me alone here if he truly loved me?

I'm gripping his glove and rosary so tightly that my hands are shaking.  The winds ceased not long ago, and I'm running through the forest to where the battle was.  He's got to be here, I would have felt it if he'd really been sucked in.  I would have _known_.

Sango is barely keeping up with me in my panic, and Inuyasha is trying not to outpace me.  I think he feels I need to see to see it for myself.

I come to a dead halt when I've suddenly run out of ground.  The damage is horrible—where a forest once stood is now a crater in the earth, that goes straight down and is as deep as it is wide.  I hit my knees, eyes going wide.  I can't even comprehend enough to cry.  I feel Sango and Inuyasha stop behind me, staring at the destruction.

A breeze blows up from the crater, drying the tears that are beginning to stream down my face.  I dig my knuckles into my mouth, feeling the scream rising as my chin trembles.  The breeze picks up until it's almost a wind, and the leaves in the trees seem to whisper to me as they stir.

_I love you_.


End file.
